I don’t think I’m alone in wanting to close the book on 2020, but before moving into the New – and hopefully less tumultuous – Year, I took some time to reflect on 2020 and I noticed that the year had some really important silver linings.
- Family comes first. Back in March I was in the process of onboarding at a new company after taking some time off from my career to do consulting and freelance work. All was good and I was about to start up in-house with the company I’m currently working for. That same week, COVID-19 charged into our little state and closed down just about everything, including my kids’ daycare and preschool. I panicked. At that moment, I realized that for a really long time, I put my career ahead of most things in my life. I didn’t know how to balance working from home while caring for my two small kids and it didn’t take long for me to realize that the task was impossible. I hired a part-time nanny. I knew we weren’t in normal times, and I wanted to make sure that I was available to my kids during this stressful time as well. I set healthy boundaries with my employer to make sure that I was able to meet the responsibilities of my job but do so with my family’s needs taking priority. Before COVID I never would have insisted on such an arrangement, but I don’t ever plan to go back to revolving my priorities around my career again. I was grateful for a year – while challenging beyond measure – allowed me to spend precious time with my rapidly growing littles
- We can accomplish things together: COVID-19 was a colossal upheaval across the globe. And it has been as divisive as it has been deadly. Here in Vermont, I was so proud of our statewide response to the restrictions that our Governor rolled out. It didn’t mean we didn’t each have our share of complaints, concerns, or moments of complete insanity. (There was a day that Matt came home from work and asked Reggie where I was and Reggie said I ran away. I was sitting on the floor behind my desk crying.) That said, we all took the time to see the bigger picture and know that our sacrifices were for the best interest of our collective community. And it showed! Until recently, our Brave Little State saw a quick decline in cases and nearly a complete halt in hospitalizations and deaths. We are making some of those sacrifices again, and while they came with a deep, frustrated sigh on my end, I know it’s the right thing to do, and that my neighbors are doing it too.
- The right relationships matter. Nothing makes you more grateful for friendships than months of isolation. Being unable to casually meet up with friends or take weekend trips to visit them forced me to take a different approach to connect and keep up with the people who were most important in my life. It made me appreciate them so much more. It also created an environment that helped me to grow deeper connections with people who I might not have. It’s often said that true friendships are the ones that are effortless – but I don’t really believe that. I think true friendships are the ones that you enjoy putting the effort into. What was even better for me was that when those healthy friendships began to grow, I was able to really see some of the unhealthy relationships for what they were, and I could let them fall away. I’m going into 2021 with a renewed appreciation for my relationships with the people who inspire, uplift, nurture, and bring laughter to my life.
- Be unapologetically you. Did you ever hear the phrase, “Don’t let anyone dim your light because it’s shining in their eyes”? Well, that was something that defined me or how I approached work, friendships, life, for a long time. I was constantly aware of how I made other people feel about themselves and would hide or diminish my own successes, excitement, skills, appearance, and goals as to prevent others from feeling like they needed to compete, compare, or feel less about themselves. The distance that 2020 gave me – and the sheer amount of time I spent with just me – was fulfilling in ways I never imagined. I learned to love all of the parts of me and celebrate them wholeheartedly – even the messy bits. Turning on my light and protecting it has been one of the best outcomes of 2020.
- Face your fear. Without all of the silver linings listed above, I wouldn’t have been able to take so many leaps – a new job in a shaky economy, a new home with big projects, and a new endeavor in this blogging space. The latter has by far been the most terrifying leap. It’s never easy to be vulnerable, to open up your projects and passions for others to judge, or to worry what your friends and family may think. So many times, I thought to myself, “why would anyone care what I’m doing? What do I have to offer that isn’t already out there? Are people rolling their eyes? Are people doing this better than me? Is it worth it? What if I fail?” These are all limiting, fear-based stories that we – especially women – have told ourselves. Having the space to nurture and explore this creative side of myself gave me the courage to start this blog. Do I still have self-doubt? Yes, of course. But I have also found a source of incredible energy and inspiration and that’s all I need to keep going.
So, yes, 2020 was a dumpster fire of a year for so many reasons. But if you look closely, maybe it wasn’t a complete bust. As we turn the final page into 2021, I’m trying to be thankful for the silver linings that 2020 has given me and use those to forge ahead into 2021. I do hope 2021 cuts us a little slack, though.
What were your silver linings from 2020?